Episode #20:

Better Behavior with Brain Basics


Want a better behaved kid? Begin by teaching them about their brain. 

This helps your kid externalize their struggles – they go from feeling shame (I’m a bad kid for acting this way) to self-compassion (sometimes I have a hard time and my downstairs brain takes over). 

Reducing shame, reduces challenging behavior. As childhood expert Pam Leo reminds us,

“You can’t teach children to behave better by making them feel worse.

When children feel better, they behave better.” 

When we teach kids about their brains and help them understand what triggers them, it normalizes their feelings. We still set limits on behavior, but it comes from a place of compassion rather than control. 

These are big concepts for little brains. And it can feel a little intimidating to talk to your five year old about neurobiology. 

But just remember – you don’t have to get these talks perfect. You just need to make them good enough.