Episode #21:

How to Be Less Annoyed by Your Kid

Kids are pretty annoying. They are unruly, demanding, and leave a trail of mess wherever they go. I stepped on a barbie, a cheerio and a lego all within one hour this morning. No one tells you about the importance of sturdy slippers in your childbirth classes.

And often as parents, we get caught up in seeing the annoying traits of our kids, especially if they are in the middle of challenging phase or just happen to have come into the world with big feelings and deep sensitivities.

But when we only see the negative “story” about our kid, we miss the good. And what we appreciate (aka pay attention to and focus on), appreciates. So the more bad we see, the more bad we get. And vice versa.

Today, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I’d like to offer you my favorite homework assignment I give to families I support.

Look at your kid through a lens of love. Even if they irritate, frustrate, and exasperate you (which they will!) see if you can tell yourself a different story about them.

As child development expert, Dr. Stuart Shanker reminds us:

“When you see a child differently, you see a different child.”

  When we notice more what’s going right, rather than wrong our kid senses this appreciation of them and their behavior starts to shift. And together you start writing a new love story.

On today’s “Good Enough Parenting” podcast I talk about the importance of our family stories and ways to find the lens of love for your cranky kid. 

And maybe the next time I feel the excruciating pain that only a stepped upon lego can inflict, I’ll appreciate how great my kid is at building creative structures rather than googling boarding schools.